Bad Habits are HARD to Break!

So if you look at my calorie intake and what I am currently eating (above) and see I have been so BAD the past two days. I blame it all on my monthly friend. It is easier than me taking the blame for it. 

I know I will have ups and downs. I am after all only human and have gone over a month without touching any kind of sweets. So I think that is really good. I just need to work out more. 

I did my walking DVD one day and have not done it since. ::shaking head:: I can't believe how easy it is to be lazy. I mean really 15 minutes...I can't find 15 minutes to get my fat ass off the couch and do the DVD. 

Yes, I am being hard on myself, but it is the motivation I need to see in writing to help me keep making the changes I have been making.

I want Laney to succeed, and she will only do that with my help. So I have to commit to her for the rest of my life and hopefully she will commit to me and before I know it I will lose the weight I want to lose.

Things have been stressful right now in life and when I get stressed out I turn to food. I have done good the past few weeks but with my period and everything it was so easy to say F it I am eating damn it.

I work from home and my current job I don't like very much. I was able to find another job, but the hours are not there. So I have been looking for more jobs to fill my work at home basket. I have found two more jobs and have started training and everything for them. Now I am worried I have taken on to much. The two jobs are part time, require 30 hours with one and 25 hours with the other. Not to mention still needing to put in hours with the 3rd. (At least that one is truly flexible and I can do when ever if the tasks are there to do them) Just going to be stressful for awhile till I get in the grove of them. But we really need the money and this will help out. 

I know if I set my mind to it I will be able to do it. I can do anything by setting my mind to it. So can everyone else. Just need to have faith. So I might not post much here in the upcoming weeks, or they might be small posts. As I will pretty much be working 11 hours a day if not more, Mon-Fri. 

Now I just need to figure out how to eat and exercise with all the hours I will be working, hopefully starting next week...

XOXO,

Laney & Cortney

Sexy Shrinking Wifey...that is what my hubby likes to say...

He really knows how to boast an ego, even though I have only lost an additional pound from the last time I updated my chart (about a week ago).

Having the band put in, I knew I did not want to risk getting pregnant to soon. (One of my goals having the band is being able to have kids with hubby) So I went on Birth Control, which I started the day after my band was put in. So I have been frustrated as to why I am not losing weight. Even though I know, most at this time, pre fill, post band don't lose too much weight. But today gave me another reason why I am not really loosing.

She came to visit. Only 20 days since my last and hopefully not as strong as my last either because of the blood thinner shot. Last night I slept with a heating pad on me, and it seems that when ever I do my period starts the next day. Wondering if I am onto so scientific evidence. LOL!

Sorry I have not posted much. I had a really crappy weekend. Emotionally crappy dealing with my Hubby telling everyone what is going on with me. Just was really sore about it. He is so proud of me and my loss but this weekend again reinforced why I am not telling everyone. Why I did not even want to tell my Grandmother when I have not lost any more weight than the week before. Just really frustrating. But it is water under the bridge and I am doing this for me.

Since this weekend, Laney has been much more hungry. She has had some soft foods, but mostly still doing the full liquids. This weekend I am going to switch over to soft foods. I can't wait and neither can she. I can't even stomach broth anymore. After all the SF pudding and jellos and cream soups, I tried a broth yesterday because my throat was a little sore and YUCK, it tasted like I was drinking salt water. I just about threw up from it. Pre band I could have lived on broth, now...don't bring the stuff near me right now.

My other new hobby is charting. I have a excel sheet where I am keeping track of everything I eat, my BP and sugar levels, added my period cycles and just have it all in one nice spot. It really will make it easy to see what I am doing.

Since my first work out I have not used the WII again. OMG I am so uncoordinated, but I remembered that I have these DVD's that I bought YEARS ago by Leslie Sansone that are just walking DVD's. At that time it was called Walk Away the Pounds. Now she has reformatted it a little to be called Walk at Home. I just did the 1 mile walk and feel great. So I am going to use these for a bit till I get my strength condition up to par and then I will try the WII for some extra work out fun. I just love the DVD was only 15 minutes and really easy. I would not say I got as much of a workout as I did with the WII, but just being 3 weeks post op I really think this is a good way to start.

Hopefully in a few weeks I will be working on the 2 mile walk, then the 3 mile walk and then the 4 mile walk. Once I know the steps down I will put her in and put my MP3 player on and just jam out to my songs as I walk and condition.

I am hoping that with my first fill in about 2 weeks and walking this will give me a nice jump start to losing the weight that has been on me for most of my life.

Okay well hope everyone is doing good and shedding the pounds.

Staying positive...
(((HUGS)))
Laney & Cortney

1st Work Out

Well I have been a bit under the weather, but I am 2 weeks post op now and decided it was time to trying working out today.

We have a WII and recently purchased My Fitness Coach for it. So I had hubby set up my profile on there today.

I just got done about 15 minutes ago. Did a 15 minute work out. I can still feel my heart racing and the taste of blood pumping in my throat. It sounds weird to me but it brings me back to middle/high school gym class, where your blood would start pumping and you have that taste in your throat from it pumping and working so hard.

I realized I have NO coordination. I could not do half the moves with her feet I was tripping all over the place.

But it felt good, even if I pushed it a little too much. I just need to think of something else maybe with not as much movement for my lack of coordination. Just not sure what. I am going to keep up with this though. 15 minutes a day 5 days a week. Don't think that will hurt me too much.

Laney has been getting really hungry. Last night she ate some real food. Just a little. But also I have not been feeling good so usually I want food to kill the sickness and get better.

Today so far so good. Just drank some Optifasts and water. I did have 2 slices of cheese though. Tonight I think I am going to have cream of broccoli soup. MMM MMM Good. Hopefully that will satisfy her tonight.

Just want to keep losing weight. Now that I am adding more and more food to my diet I want to keep it coming off and need to step up my working out. Even if it is just marching in places 15 minutes a few times a day I think would be a good start.

Just need to keep my motivation up there. I would LOVE to be about 250 for Christmas...that would be an amazing task and think I can do it as I am already half way there weighing just under 275 and going in for my first fill in 3 weeks.

I can't wait. It is going to be amazing bringing out some of my old clothes and wearing them, just hopefully not for too long. Hoping I will be able to move onto smaller sizes soon after that. :)

HUGS!!!
Cortney & Laney

PS - Hercules our new kitten is doing great and such a cute little bundle of joy. :)

Motivational Quotes for Your Healthy Lifestyle

Motivational Quotes for Your Healthy Lifestyle

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Healing nicely

I had my two week post op visit yesterday with my surgeon. (More like week and a half) I am glad I moved it up because he is going to be on vacation next week so they originally had me coming in almost 4 weeks post op.

At the appointment he said I am healing nicely and actually wants to see me back in the office in 3 weeks for my 1st FILL!!! WOOOO HOOOOO!!! Usually they wait about 6 weeks or longer post op but he wants me back sooner. I am happy. Also was told when I weighed in that I lost more than the average in my two weeks post op. 12 lbs according to their scales (Which are 4 lbs heavier than my scales at home)

So Laney well start to do some more work here really soon. 3 weeks is just around the corner and I can't wait!

I also have officially been given the ok to go on Full Liquids. I told him the truth and that I had already been doing some and he was quite ok with that. He was the one that asked me if I had been doing full liquids already.

So that is good to know that I did not hamper anything. So I am planning on doing another week of liquids than next week I will progress to the soft/mushy foods. Since I will be filled in a few weeks that is why I might progress things up a bit.

I might start doing some scrambled eggs this week for breakfast just to get some more protein in me etc.

As far as cream soups go, they really are filling me up at night, but I don't like the Cream of Chicken. (YUCK) but the Cream of Broccoli and Cream of Potato and Cream of Broccoli Cheese are really good. Specially with some extra cheese sprinkled in it.

So I am pretty much going to stick with them, I have left over Optifast as well that I am going to use. I think I might add some mashed potatoes and as I mentioned scrambled eggs here this week Friday (tomorrow) and then next Friday add more soft/mushy foods.

Other than that, I am coming down with a cold. I forgot to ask my surgeon about flu, if I am throwing up or anything if I need to come in for and unfil. I have heard from others that their doctors required them too. I did ask him about NSAID since I have heard from others that their doctor's have told them no, he told me he does not restrict them and has never had anyone had an issue. So that was a big relief to know.

So now I just need to really work on keeping up with retraining my eating habits. I am still more hungry in the evening than in the early part of the day. But slowly I will get this to change.

Now onto the big news...this weekend my Hubby and I found a stray kitten. The area we live in is pretty big on letting their animals run loose. Drives me crazy, but what can I do. Well, Saturday night hubby and I were out letting our dogs go potty. (I think I mentioned in another post that our house is an acre back from the street, so I have been walking up and down it for exercise.) So hubby and I were walking up to the street and I hear this frantic cat meowing. Me being me had to meow back to see if the cat would show itself to us. (I talk cat pretty easy) So I told hubby it was coming to the empty house next to us (Our neighbor passed away or was put in assisted living we are guessing and the house has been empty for almost 2 months) So we walked over there. I knelt down at the gate and meowed a few times. Hubby kept saying it is coming from a few houses down. Just as he said that I spotted this tiny moving object coming up the driveway. It was surely seeing him move towards us, like as soon as I looked at him he froze and then would move some more when I meowed again. I said to my husband um no I think this is him coming right now. Next thing we know at the locked 6 foot chain fence was this little gray kitten.

Since the fence was locked we did not know how to get him out but he kept meowing at us as to help him. Hubby was able to life the fence up a bit in hopes of him crawling under, but moving the fence spoked him and he backed up about 4 feet. So fence went back down and then he just walked up and went right through one of the chain links, we were like why didn't you just do that to begin with. So hubby carried him back home and the poor baby was covered in FIRE ANTS! Also stickers. So hubby rushed in and washed him off to get rid of the fire ants and then started working on pulling out the stickers while I looked for anything to feed him.

He is the cutest lil boy. Since we have a slew of animals and mostly with Disney names (hubby is a Disney fanatic) I said he needs a strong name with all that he has been through. Well Hercules popped right into my head and mentioned that. We played with a few others but finally settled on Hercules. He was really weak the first night. Obviously has not eaten in awhile or had anything to drink. He could barely walk or hold his head up. By his kitten teeth we are estimating him to be about 7 weeks old. (Born Aug 1st) He is the friendliest little thing and wants to be by me or Terry (hubby) all the time.

We went to the store the next day and got kitten food and wet food for him. Since it is like night and day. He has so much energy and is playful and just follows you around where every you go. He is going to be a great cat. Curls up on your chest, purr machine and just super friendly. Not scared of anything yet and I am trying to keep it that way.

So here is Hercules - he only weighs a pound and should be at about two so we are working at getting him feed good and weight put on him.

 

 

 

 

Naming Laney

The idea to name my band was a thought I had. I did not put a lot of thought into it until the other night. My husband was talking to a friend of his and had noticed she lost a great amount of weight.

So he asked her how she did it and she told him she had Lap Band Surgery in Aug 2006. So that just opened up a whole slew of questioning. First him telling her that I just had it done. So between my questions that he asked her and then questions she asked him on my surgery. She gave me a lot of GREAT advice. She emailed me stuff she has gone through etc. It was so nice of her to do this. I am forever grateful to her for this and also saying anytime I have any questions she will be glad to answer. It is nice to know someone that has gone through this several years out. I really will be looking to her! So to Steph - THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

One of her suggestions if I had not was to name my band. She gave examples on how it will be easier to tell my hubby that Laney does not feel good, Laney does not want that, Laney is talking back, Laney is stuffed, etc. So I was off the baby naming sites to come up with my band name.

I was funny about it first, but than I found a site that let me search by meanings of names. So I did searches on names that meant: Thin, Tiny, Small, Slender, Beautiful, Light, Weight. In the search of the name Light, I found Laney = Torch, Bright Light. Well, since my last name is Delaney and my band is my torch, it is going to lead me and show me the way to my thinner self. It is my Bright Shinning Star inside of me. So I never looked back and Laney was born.

I have bonded very well with her. But she does not like me to sleep right now. I don't know if it is just I have to get used to her still but when I lay on my back I can feel the weight of her pulling down and makes my chest hurt.

I can't sleep on my tummy right now because of the port and soreness. I have been able to sleep on one side and she does not pull as much but every morning I wake up with the tightness in my chest. I am wondering if this is what everyone means by feeling tight in the morning. I know waking I am not hungry at all. I have to force myself to drink and around noon I finally eat (well drink) something.

I am suppose to be on 2 weeks clear liquids than 2 weeks full liquids than 2 weeks soft foods. This is the part of the surgery that bothers me. Not having to do this but how many doctors are different in this. (Even Pre OP they vary so much) I have talked with people that the day after they are released from the hospital are able to eat mushy foods right away up to people like Steph (who was banded 3 years ago) had to do clear liquids for 6 WEEKS!

Most that I have talked to from my surgeons office have altered their post op diet to do a week of clear, a week of full, 2 weeks of mushy and than 2 weeks of soft. (My has no mushy phase which to me is odd) So I have adopted this to my post op diet. Even the official lap band site says post op care, 2 weeks clear/full liquids, 2 weeks mushy, 2 weeks soft. So I don't know why my surgeon ignores the mushy phase.

Laney is happy. She was starting to get hungry and wanted more than just water, apply juice, broth, SF jello. Every time I even thought of getting on of those items she would groan. I introduced SF pudding to her the other day and she got quite full with that. Then I gave her some cream of potato soup and she loved that.

Yesterday I had 4 oz of mashed potato (I know I know that is mushy not full liquid) But it was a nice small amount that I ate really slow and was really good! I also cheated a little more and had a piece of pepperoni with some cheese on it off a slice a pizza my family was having. I chewed it so well it was like a thick shake. It was good but Laney said it was too soon for that because of the spices. So I won't be doing that again soon.

Tonight she is enjoying a nice bowl of broccoli & cheese soup. After staining out the chunks. So far she is loving that.

Today I weighed myself and in total (tickers are not updated) I have lost 25 lbs. I have not been 275 lbs in several years. It is so nice to be back at this weight and I am hopeful to keep losing like I am, but I know that I will plateau at some point but I will not let it set me back!

So until next time...

Forever in our hearts and thoughts!

The birth of Laney!

Struggling with my weight as far back as I can remember, this year I decided to take matters into my own hands. I, Cortney, have tried may different weight loss options. I have lost but the weight never seems to stay off.

In grade school I was always the chubby one. I had plenty of friends and never thought I was "fat" not even chubby. Not until my parents divorced and my Mom, Sister & I moved to a suburb, just in time for the start of Middle School for me. From day one I was made fun of. I was called a cow, my school bordered a pasture on one side. Most of my classes the boys would sit there and moo at me and ask me why I was not out with the other cows grazing. I hated Middle School. I did everything in my power to not go to school. Was sick all the time.

I know my weight issues came on from being brought up on nothing but fast food. I can look at pictures of me up to the point my when my Mom went back to work. Up until I was 7 years old my Mom was at home with me. After that Dad and Mom worked. We never got a proper meal. Everything was fast food. I can see my pictures after that and the weight adding on so fast.

I was so glad when we moved to another city a few years later, new school, fresh start, but now High School.

Thankfully, I made a lot of great friends at this school. Was not made fun of. Had a little growth spurt while still chubby I look back at some of my photos and think I looked good. Even though at that time I thought I was FAT, weighing 180.

Then college, moving out on my own, etc...all I ate was fast food. The weight piled on. Before I knew it I was pushing 230. I hated stepping on the scale and seeing what I was doing to myself. I tried dieting, but no matter what the weight kept piling on.

Then in 2002, I moved to Florida. I came down weighing 260, but determined I was going to lose weight. I started slim fast and walked several miles pretty much every day. Before I knew it I was down to 220 and feeling great.

Then I met my future husband. And well...bye bye weight loss, hello weight gain and then some. Growing to my highest weight of 310. When I hit 300 pounds last year I cried. I felt like such a failure and doomed to be this huge blob.

I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Hate photos of me as they show me what I really look like, not what I see inside my head that I look like.

My husband is in kidney failure. Another story for another day and this year I told him we need to start living our life again. Stop saying what if this or that, get a transplant etc. We keep putting our life on hold waiting for this to happen. I told him we need to stop doing this. I want to have children with him and we put that off because of this as well.

So that lead me to view one of my PCOS boards where a lot of the members talked about WLS. I was like oh wow. I know when WLS first started to become popular it was bypass and I remember thinking I would never do that to myself. That it just was not for me. Well when Terry (hubby) and I first married and were having a problem conceiving I did see a specialist to help, till we learned about Terry's kidney failure. The OBGYN I saw for my check up at that time mentioned lap band to me. I had never heard of it. Looked into and thought wow that is something that might work for me. We had just learned of Terry's condition and so I put it off to the side for a later date.

Well almost 5 years have passed and it is time for me to start taking my life into my own hands.

So after reading a lot of the girls with PCOS have great success and losing weight with WLS and then conceiving I decided it is time. Hubby and I looked at our insurance policy and found out for me WLS is covered and that is all I needed to know and started going through the steps to get approved and have the surgery.

The schedule of events that lead up to Laney are as follows:

March 21st - Seminar

April 6th - Lap Band Orientation

April 23rd - Initial Consult with Psych

April 23rd - One on One with Surgeon

June 6th - Psych Test

July 7th - All Paperwork Submitted

July 27th - Approved

July 30th - Rejected (because the office will no longer be accepting the 3rd party biller my ins co uses)

August 4th - Re-Approved!!!

August 5th - Scheduled surgery for 09/04/09

August 21st - Start of Pre-Op Diet

September 4th - Surgery - Laney's Birth!

So a week ago now, Laney was put in me. I have to admit I did have doubts, specially when seeing family and friends eating, or craving food. But I know in the long run this is the best thing I could have done for my life.

To this date I have lost 22 lbs. It has not even been a month yet since the start of my Pre-Op diet. I love stepping on the scale right now and seeing the weight is just melting off right now.

So that is pretty much the story that brought Laney into my life.

My next post will be on choosing her name. :)

I have spent most of the evening setting this blog up and formatting it and tweaking things so now I must head off to bed as it is going on 3 am. Good thing I don't have to work in the AM.

Make sure to come back and check in on mine and Laney's adventures together. I am sure there will be a lot to talk about with her.

((HUGS))
Cortney & Laney